My Journey

I am an adventurous person. I like to go to different places and meet other people! But I have problems in doing that - because I am shy and I am afraid to venture on my own.

So, when I was a young child, books served as my means of seeing places and meeting people. I read a lot of materials (comics, novels, books) on any kind of subjects (and even tried learning other languages, such as Spanish and Chinese, on my own through reading books). This make believe world confined me at home and in my room most of the time. But this also allowed me to read books and stories about God which made me more and more curious to know more about Him.

When I reached high school, I started attending Sunday School. During such a class, one verse that caught my attention was Isaiah 55:6 "seek the Lord while He may be found… call upon Him while He is near”. God who seemed a distant somebody before was becoming more real each day as I read the Bible and other Christian literatures and as I listen to Christian teachings. Finally, God seemed like a friend who accompanied me to get out of my daily routine of home and school and encouraged me to explore the world and people around our community. Little by little, I was overcoming my shyness - by joining the choir and teaching children in Sunday School.

However, during one of our Youth Fellowship during my senior year in High School, the speaker explained to us that being active in church by joining all activities or being kind and good does not make us real Christians. I have memorized since childhood John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” that I did not even think of its meaning anymore. I learned that believing in Him means to truly confess my sins to God, ask Him to forgive and cleanse me, accept Jesus as the Lord and King of my life and love and obey Him. By understanding this truth, my shyness to pray publicly was removed and I was able to thank Him for His love by dying on the cross and suffering in my place.

As a child, I dreamed of being a doctor because my mother worked in the hospital and I admired looking at them and how they help people. However, I realized that my parents can’t afford that. So, I decided to apply for a school that offers instead Veterinary Medicine. I got a scholarship there but the degree was not approved/offered yet at that time. So, I ended up taking a Bachelor’s degree in Animal Science. It seemed like I missed one of my desired destination in life – not becoming what I wanted to be.

In college, I was still shy and afraid to travel alone. In fact, my father would travel 4 hrs. to get me during weekends whenever I wanted to go home and he would bring me back to school again the following day. It was only during my junior years, when I had friends that I could travel with that he stopped getting and sending me to school. Being in a school far away from home, taught me to trust in God and to depend on Him for provision of my daily basic needs and for guidance in plans and decisions. He also gave me friends who share the same interest as I do and accompanied me in my faith’s journey.

Now, I am a student again pursuing a doctoral in technical science degree. Whereas I dreamed to be a medical doctor, then an animal doctor, I realized now that God’s will for me is not to be those kinds of doctor. I am still shy around many people and afraid to travel alone. But I can testify that I am where I am now because of God who enabled me to overcome my shyness and fear when I am facing it. I realized that there are parts of my nature that I struggle with but God has allowed ito make me unique from the others and so that I would keep trusting upon Him alone not in my own strength. He has been gracious enough to give me the courage and ability to overcome them at the right moment. I have talked infront of many people and I have travelled to far places and meet people from other cultures and backgrounds because He taught me not to focus at my weaknesses but to trust and depend in Him alone. He keeps on encouraging me with His command and promise in Matthew 28:19-20 to “Go… and… I am with you always…”